Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call. Go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign because it might never come. Don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.
I don’t miss him anymore. Most of the time, anyway. I want to. I wish I could but unfortunately, it’s true: time does heal. It will do so whether you like it or not, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. If you’re not careful, time will take away everything that ever hurt you, everything you have lost, and replace it with knowledge. Time is a machine: it will convert your pain into experience… It will force you to move on and you will not have a choice in the matter.
I pressed my cheek to hers
and we both breathed deeply
as if trying to comment the other
to memory, one last time.
& I remember feeling exactly like that, and I still feel that, every time.
How much of human life is lost in waiting.
Pacific Coast Highway in Santa Monica, Los Angeles, CA
But to come home each night
have a drink, go to bed,
and be so deeply understood by you
would be the greatest gift of my life
I couldn’t dream up anything better than this.
it was winter and the surfers didn’t mind.
san francisco, california
We began as wanderers, and we are wanderers still. We have lingered long enough on the shores of the cosmic ocean. We are ready at last to set sail for the stars.
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Her beauty is veiled with gloom
A halo of clouds hangs solemnly
beckoning the certainty of a storm
She is a city
and we fall desperately at her feet
her majesty forever bringing us to our knees
Every day I discover more and more beautiful things. It’s enough to drive one mad. I have such a desire to do everything, my head is bursting with it.
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